The Ed and the Cobbler
by Phantom64
Summary: Sora, a young poor cobbler, must save the golden city from the Evil king Nightmare, win the heart of Princess Kairi, evad the traitous Jafar, and contend with the trouble caused by Eddy the thief. This is a Thief and the Cobbler: parody. R&R!
1. Cast List

Phantom64: Decided to do a parody of the Thief and the Cobbler. Loved that movie. Anyway here's the cast.

Tack the Cobbler: Sora from Kingdom Hearts.

The Thief: Eddy from Ed Edd and Eddy.

Princess Yumyum: Kairi from Kingdom Hearts

Zigzag: Jafar from Aladdin

King Nod: King Kai from Dragon Ball Z

Nanny: Suga Mamma from The Proud Family

King One Eye: Nightmare from Soul Caliber

Chief Roofless: Rock from Soul Caliber

Phido: Buzzie from The Jungle Book

One Eye's army: Archadian soldiers from Final Fantasy 12

Brigands: Beagle Boys from Duck Tails (minus Big Time Beagle)

Zigzag's henchmen: Pete from Disney and Kingdom Hearts, Gantu from Lilo and Stitch, Buggy the Clown from One Piece, and Big Time Beagle from Duck Tails

Extra added in characters

Skyler (me): Jafar's clumsy but good hearted apprentice in magic.

Priscilla(Amberwind993): A Princess with a lovely singing voice and Kairi's sister.

Auron from Final Fantasy 10: A mysterious warrior who acts as a father figure to Sora.

Edd(Double D) and Ed: Eddy's two partners in crime.

That's it for now. I'll be working on the first chapter!


	2. Chapter 1: In the Beginning

Phantom64: okay here's chapter one! Be sure to leave a review!

Eddy: come on come on! I wanna get to my part!

Chapter 1: In the Beginning

Legend has it, that each shooting star is really an Arabian Knight riding across the heavens. And at the center of every star is an ancient story untouched by time. Long before the heroic tales of Aladdin and Ali Baba, the first Arabian Knight was chosen. But where would destiny find someone so courageous and pure of heart? Amid the swirling sand of the Great Arabian Desert was the Golden City. And at its center, an enchanted castle dedicated to reason and goodness. High atop its tallest tower were three golden balls, whose magic protected it from the evil King Nightmare and his army of darkness. According to the prophecy, if the balls were ever removed, The Golden City would be in great danger. With only it left to conquer, The Nightmares were on the march…

Far in the mountains lay what was left of the army foolish enough to attack the Nightmares, bodies were strung about in piles, arrows and spears sticking out of many. Amid it in a surrounding circle was the mighty Nightmare Army, all of them in their dark silver armor, many wielding swords, spears, crossbows, and other weapons they cheered on as their mighty leader stood on a large boulder in the center of their circle. He was truly a intimidating figure, standing tall above his men in his dark blue armor, hiding his face but showing his demonic red eyes. His right arm was not armored, due to the fact unlike his human sized left arm, his right harm was much larger with claws and a ruddy brown color, clearly he was not a human being. He was the evil King Nightmare. He raised his large, disturbing sword with a moving eye in the hilt, deemed Soul Caliber and roared at his men. " Nightmares win again!" His men cheered as he began his speech. "Now we march! We shall crush the 'golden city' like a meaningless pebble!" To demonstrate he picked up a pebble and crushed it to dust with his hand." The army roared with bloodlust, wanting to attack the Golden City.

While he continued his speech one small boy struggled to get up, apparently the only survivor of the fallen army. He was small with pink hair and wearing glasses. His name was Koby. He had many arrows sticking out of his back along with a pole that at the end held the Nightmare's flag, an eye with red thunderbolts around it. " Must…warn …. the king." He whispered, struggling to get on a nearby horse. When he finally did he galloped off into the night. Leaving the carnage behind him, hoping to warn the Golden City. Nightmare had overlooked this brave little scout and it would cost him dearly. But warned or not, who would stand up to the fearsome army? That's where are story begins…..

Far, far away from the carnage was a large and beautiful city that was known as The Golden City. It had a large palace, many housing structures and in the court yard of the palace was a tall minaret that atop it's tower was 3 golden balls, the bottom one was large, the middle one was medium sized, and the top one was small. These three golden balls protected the city from evil. But that's not where our story begins. It starts here in the lower areas of the city in this cobbler's house. Asleep on the floor was A boy of 15 with spiky brown hair, blue eyes, and wearing a black hoodie with black pants, and large yellow shoes. Around his neck was a silver crown necklace. This is Sora, a poor cobbler's apprentice. He had been working so much that even in his sleep he was hitting things with his hammer and sowing with tacks he kept at the end of his lips, sticking out like toothpicks. Could he be the one to save the city?

Anyway there is another character in this tale of fate. On the other side of the city was a thief named Eddy. He took Pride in his job, and stole anything that caught his eye, especially anything gold. " Good morning Arabia!" Eddy snickered as he stuck his head out of his hiding spot. He was short with only 3 strands of hair on his head, slicked back to look cool. He had a yellow shirt, blue pants, red shoes, and a large brown cloak which he kept all of his stolen goods. "Come on you two knuckle heads! We have work to do."

"Honestly Eddy. I really think we should just go back to school. I can't live the life of a criminal!" whimpered a scrawny teen who wore a orange shirt, pants, and had a black Ski cap with white stripes on his head, not showing his hair if he had any. He was Edd or mostly known as Double D, the brains of the group.

"Don't be silly Double D." Said another teen who was the tallest with crew cut almost thin black hair, wearing a striped shirt, green trench coat, jeans, and had a dumb look on his face. He was Ed, the workhorse of the three. " This reminds me of the comic book 'Thieves from the planet Q!' Where a band of alien thieves came and stole all the mashed potatoes on Earth! It was frightening!"

"…… right…." The one called Double D. replied uneasily, stepping away from Ed.

"Shut up! Here comes a sucker!" Eddy whispered. They looked as an old African-American woman with her white hair in poofed up pony tails, wearing a pink bathrobe and pink fuzzy slippers. She was Suga Mamma. She hummed as she walked slowly carrying something that Eddy couldn't see, but it looked gold. " That looks like Gold to me" He snickered, slowly creeping towards the old woman.

"Eddy! Now where robbing defenseless old women?!? What has this world coming to?!?" Double D sobbed quietly from their hiding spot.

Eddy continued slowly toward the old woman. 'What's that old hag have?' He thought greedily. 'Maybe a gold statue. No… it's-' He slowly reached and grabbed what the old woman had to find out it was not gold but a fruit. "Bananas?!?" He exclaimed. Before Eddy could react the old woman had grabbed his arm that was holding the bananas.

"Boy you just made a big mistake." Suga Mamma growled as she grabbed the bananas and then slammed Eddy into the pavement with her powerful arm. She put the bananas down as Eddy Groaned. Suga Mamma then began to wail on the thief with powerful punches. She then grabbed him and slammed him on the pavement many times as if he were a hammer. She then jumped on him and stomped on the thieving boy many times with her pink fuzzy loafers. Eddy screamed as the old woman grabbed him by his arms and twirled him around and around, all the while many stolen object flew out of his cloak: Some gold coins, golden statues, rugs, a clock, some playboy magazines, a plastic lawn flamingo, and a kitchen sink landed in a clutter around the two. When she stopped she then twisted Eddy into a painful pretzel shape. " That'll teach ya you ruffian!" She spat. She picked up her bananas and continued on, happily humming to herself again.

"Eddy!" Double D yelled as he and Ed ran to him. "Are you okay?"

"I think that was our old school cafeteria lady." He moaned, dazed.

"Cool! She put Eddy into a pretzel move!" Ed exclaimed dumbly. " mmmmmm, Pretzels."

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Some time later, a now mobile and un-pretzeled Eddy snuck into a cobbler's shop along with his two comrades. "Geeze, who lives in this dump?" Eddy whispered.

"Eddy we should just leave. We're lucky that old woman didn't turn us in but whoever lives here could!" Double D whimpered.

"Just a sec." He noticed the sleeping body of Sora on the floor by the top of the stairs. He walked up and inspected the teenager. "Let's see what ya got chump." Eddy said to himself while Sora continued to sleep. He slowly pulled out his wallet to find it empty with nothing but a moth flying out of it. As they were about to leave they could hear music being played outside. But Sora, still asleep, rolled over and crossed his legs, getting the trio in a headlock.

Outside near the entrance of the city a grand parade was coming through. At the front were two men playing some oddly designed horns. Behind them was a small duck named Daffy banging a gong. Behind him were several Sound ninja with whips cracking at the people yelling for them to make way. Behind the ninja were 4 shifty looking characters. One was a fat bipedal cat wearing a black and red armor with large pockets. He was Pete. Along with him was a tall bipedal whale in a black jumpsuit with red stripes. He was Gantu. Another seemed like the odd combination of a pirate and circus clown. He had on a brightly colored pirates hat that had tassels on it, a big red nose, and a coat that he wore as a cape. He was Buggy the Clown. And the last one was the smallest of them but had the biggest mouth. He was a short bipedal beagle with a black mask over his eyes, a green cap, red shirt, and a place card on his shirt that had a cell number. He was Bigtime Beagle. "Have no fear! Jafar the Magnificent is here!" They chanted over and over again.

Behind the four goons was the grand vizier of the Golden City, Jafar. He was a sorcerer of incredible power and had over the years gained the trust of king Kai, but yet to gain anyone else's. He was a smug fellow with a black goatee in black and red robes with pointed curved shoes, a cape, and a black turban with a red feather on it that hid his black hair. In his hand was a staff made of pure gold with the head of a leering cobra at the top with rubies in it's eyeholes. As he proceeded a red carpet was rolled out and when it ran out and he passed it they rolled it up and ran ahead of him and rolled it out, continuing so that he would walk on the red carpet as if he were a celebrity.

Now behind Jafar was his apprentice, Skyler. Unlike Jafar, Skyler was a more likeable person. He treated everyone equally where his teacher Jafar saw the common people as lower class. He was a boy of sixteen with messy blonde hair that curled up in some places, with blue eyes, wearing glasses, and had a smile on his face. Unlike his richly clothed teacher, Skyler wore more modest casual clothing of a red t-shit, jeans, and sneakers. But he did have a blue cape attached to him to give him a magician feel. He had a staff too, although unlike Jafar's golden cobra staff, his was just a plain old wooden staff with a dog carved at the top of it. The dog had it's ears perked up, looking attentive although it was just a statue. Now calling him an apprentice would be a little wrong. In most cases he would be considered Jafar's secretary, always keeping up with his busy agenda. The other reason would be that Jafar taught him little magic, most of his skills acquired from learning on his own, although Skyler's magic has unintended and disastrous results, since he is inexperienced. "Okay Mr. Jafar. You have a meeting with King Kai at 12 o' clock, after that you have tee time with General Barret at 3 o'clock followed by-" Skyler was cut off by his teacher. Skyler was struggling to keep up with his teacher while balancing the scrolls he held in his arm, while the other held his staff.

"Please don't bore me with that right now young pupil." Jafar sniffed. " Let me enjoy my stroll about the city."

"Erm.. Yes sir." Skyler whispered.

Back in the Cobbler shop, Sora, who was still sleep-cobbling had sown the three Ed's clothing to his pant leg. "He's sowing us up like a boot!" Double D croaked.

"Sorry Nest-head but these boots were made for walking!" Eddy hissed as he and the others tried to get free. It was then Sora awoke coming face-to-face with Eddy.

"what the-" before Sora could finish the 4 tumbled down the stairs and out into the street, Sora's cobbling equipment falling out as well. One of his tacks landed on the carpet, which Jafar stepped on by accident. Jafar screamed as he held his foot in pain and the parade stopped.

"The Vizier is down! I repeat! The vizier is down!" Buggy screamed into his earpiece. Immediately several Leaf Ninja appeared, pulling out swords. The three Eds had escaped from Sora's pant leg and had ran into an alleyway just as Jafar angrily spun around to only see Sora and his cobbling equipment.

"Take him!" Jafar screamed! "Seize him! Take him! Seize him!" He pointed at the confused Sora. The Leaf ninja apprehended him, having their blades, dangerously close to his neck.

"Take him and seize him! Take him and seize him!" Jafar's goons, Pete, Buggy, Gantu, and Bigtime sang,

"Take him to the palace!" Jafar ordered and two ninja grabbed Sora by his arms and dragged him.

"I don't know Mr. Jafar." Skyler said. "I don't think he meant any harm, I think it was just and accident…"

"Don't question me you four eyed fool!" He snapped pointing his cobra staff at the frightened teen. " I will do what I desire, you have no say in the matter!"

"y-yes sir." Skyler whispered, gulping.

In the shadows the three thieve watched them take Sora away. "That was close.!" Eddy sighed in relief.

"Eddy! We just can't let them take him away can we?" Double D said, guiltily watching them take the young cobbler to his doom. "It WAS our fault. "

"I feel as bad as a month old piece of buttered toast." Ed mumbled sadly.

"Look we can't do anything!" Eddy Snapped. "Let's just get out of here." With that they snuck off into the alley.

A man exited the cobbler shop that Sora was in. He was in the back when the whole commotion started. He was a tall, slightly middle aged man with graying black hair, a scar going across his face and one of his eyes forcibly shut for some reason. He wore a black shirt with black pants, a red jacket which he had his left arm in a sling, and carried a jug of saki.. "This is not good." He whispered as he silently followed the guards toward the grand palace.

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Phantom64: There's chapter one! We'll meet the Princesses in the next chapter!

Ed Double d and Eddy: Read and Review!


	3. chapter 2: Love at First Sight

Phantom64: Hey If you've seen the version of The Thief and the Cobbler that had songs in it, sorry but I'm not putting them in. why? because I scoured the internet trying to find lyrics but found nothing but a bunch of people saying how terrible the Miramax was with all of the edits and etra voices and song numbers. I liekd the songs but I just couldn't find them sorry. Also I'll be adding some scenes that they took out from the Miramax version for certain reasons. Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Love at First Sight

Suga Mamma walked down the halls of the grand castle, many of the Leaf Ninja Guards getting out of her way. Everyone knew of her Incredible strength and what she can do to some people. Suga Mamma has been the royal nanny to the king's nieces since they were toddlers, and loved them as if they were her own, and would attack anyone who'd dare harm the two Princesses. (and would most probably win!) She entered the Princess's chamber and put down the bananas she had bought at the store. "I'm home girls! And you won't believe what I did to some poor smuck who thought he could steal from me! Heh heh!" Out from behind a room enclosed with curtains came the Sister Princesses, Kairi and Priscilla. They both had sad looks on their faces. "Now what's wrong children?"

"We're in a royal rut Shuga Mamma." Sighed Princess Kairi. She was the oldest of the two at 15, with long red hair, and beautiful ocean blue eyes. She wore a short red shirt that only covered her breasts, showing off her stomach, a pair of soft silky pants that were slightly see-through at the bottom and a pair of curved shoes. Around her neck by a string was a shining green gem.

"This life of luxury seems a waste to us. We want to help Uncle Kai instead of just being by his side." Added Princess Priscilla. She was a strikingly beautiful Asian girl with semi-long black hair and beautiful black as night eyes. Her outfit was exactly the same as Kairi's except for her belly-revealing shirt was sky blue, her silky pants were a darker blue, and around her neck was a collar-like necklace that had a small cross attached to it from the bottom of the collar.

"Now girls, you don't have to worry about that." Suga Mamma comforted as she led them to a mirror. "you're Uncle is doing just fine. There's nothing for either of you to worry about." She pulled out two small golden crowns and handed them to the two girls. They both put their crown on their head.

"But we want to help someone." Kairi pleaded as Suga Mamma added a set of beads with a cartoon heart at the bottom to the crown, the heart was now positioned on her forehead.

"I'm tired of just sitting by his side and looking pretty."

"Yeah, I want to do more than just sing for guests. I want to help someone too." Priscilla said. Suga Mamma then added a set of beads with a cross on the bottom to her crown like Kairi's, the cross positioned on her forehead. " If we could help just one person… then maybe Uncle Kai would understand."

Suga Mamma sighed as she dug into a drawer. "You're both just like your mother. Now for the finishing touch." She pulled out two soft, see-through cloths that were used as veils. She attached them to their ears, coming down from under her nose, covering their mouths(Although they were still visible) and ending at their necks. Kairi's was pink and Priscilla's was purple.

We're just so much more than pretty faces." Kairi sighed as she and Priscilla walked out to the balcony to look at their view and smell the beautiful roses they had planted in the pots.

"We could show him… if we had the chance." Priscilla said as they looked at the roses longingly. They were interrupted by the sounds of the Caslte gates opening. They looked down to notice a man they weren't happy to see entering the castle.

"Ug! It's that awful Jafar!" Kairi sneered, seeing Jafar and his posse entering through the gates.

"But if that windbag is here, that means Skyler is here!" Priscilla squealed with delight. Skyler, who was behind Jafar looked up at the balcony where the Princesses were. Priscilla waved happily at the young sorcerer, a blush creeping on her face. Skyler waved back happily as well, his face turning red too. The rather cute moment was quickly silenced by Suga Mamma leering at Skyler, shaking her fist menacingly at the magician in training. Skyler yelped and quickly turned away, trying to act casual. He was well aware of the nanny's frightening strength and didn't intend to incur her wrath. "Suga Mamma! Why do you have be like that around him?!?" Priscilla demanded, her hands on her hips.

" I've told you to keep away from that David Copperfield wannabe!" Suga Mamma scolded, her anger not directed at the Princess but at the young sorcerer in question. " anyone associated with Jafar is bad news, especially the magic types."

"But Suga Mamma, Skyler's nothing like Jafar." She argued. " He's kind, modest, truthful, caring, cute…."

"Did you just call him CUTE?" Kairi giggled. Priscilla went red hot with embarrassment.

"Ah you'll understand someday." Suga Mamma said waving her hand.

Before they left the balcony, Kairi looked and saw someone being dragged by two Leaf Ninja. It was a boy with spikey brown hair and blue eyes. She stared at the boy for what seemed like a minute. Down below, Sora had looked up to see Princess Kairi for the first time. Their eyes locked for a minute before she left the balcony. Sora blushed as he thought of the princess. He had never seen anyone as beautiful as her. As he was dragged into the gates, Eddy, Double D, and Ed were sneaking behind and Eddy feasted his eyes on the 3 Golden Balls.

"Hellooooooooo Betty." Eddy whispered, the balls reflecting off of his greedy eyes. A cash register's ring went off when he blinked. The palace gates began to close. Eddy made a mad dash only to crash into the large doors.

"Oh dear, Who knows what will happen to that cobbler." Double D whimpered.

"We gotta get in there." Eddy said.

"Eddy! You surprise me." Double D said cheerfully. "You actually want to sneak into the castle and save him?"

"Heck no!" Eddy remarked. "We gotta get in there and steal those gold balls! We'll be set for life with them!" Double D's shoulders slumped, seeing the old Eddy was still here.

" Ooooh, I can buy a mountain of comic books with one of those!" Ed remarked dumbly.

" Come on! We have planning to do!" Eddy grabbed his two partners in crime and ran away with a dust cloud in his tracks to plan their big heist.

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In the Royal Throne Room that was beautifully decorated with statues and plants was a fat blue skinned man that had long antenna like things on his head, He wore what could be described as a chinese master robe. It was black with a red circle that had a Japanese symbol in the circle, a small hat on top of his head, and a small pair of sunglasses. He was King Kai, grand ruler of The Golden City. He was fast asleep as usual. With the Golden Balls protecting the city he had very little to do or worry about, so he was typically bored and usually asleep. His two nieces, Princess Kairi and Princess Priscilla walked up and sat at his side, Priscilla on his right, Kairi on his left. "Wake up Uncle." Kairi whispered, kissing him on the forehead.

"Huh what? What?" King Kai asked as he sleepily woke up. Just as he did Jafar and his posse entered.

"Oh great King Kai! Have no fear! Jafar your grand vizier is here." Jafar declared dramatically. Skyler stood behind him to his left. Prisiclla gave him a warm smile that made his face red as a tomato.

"Oh… it's you … Jafar.. and young Skyler…" King Kai yawned about to fall back asleep.

" And now oh greatest of the great." Jafar said as four servants walked up with a small tent that they held with handles. "I have something to rest you of affairs of state." Kairi rolled her eyes at Jafar's irritating rhyming. "I've searched the word and brought you thense, With no little effort and GREAT expense…" He rubbed his thumb and index finger making the universial sign for money. " A plaything…"

"Uhh I don't think thense is a word sir…" Skyler said quietly. Jafar spun around and glared at him angrily. "Nut what to I know?!? I'm just a lowly apprentice, did I mention what good use of the word these you used?!?" He said quickly, sweat pouring down his face. Jafar gave him an approving smile and turned back to King Kai.

"From South part of Gaza, A bountiful maiden from MOMBASSA." Jafar whispered to King Kai. He immediately awoke from his slumber.

"OOOOOOOOOH! MOMBASSA!" the King exclaimed perversely. From the small tent a eyelash could be seen from the opening and a low female chuckle could be heard. .

"Oh uncle…." Priscilla whispered, rolling her eyes in shame. Skyler simply covered his face and shook his head. (Before you say anything, This who plaything was cut out of the Miramaz version for obvious reasons. I added it in because of the lack of the song) Jafar's goons Pete, Gantu, Buggy, and Jafar chuckled to themselves but shushed as four Leaf Ninja entered with the captured Sora in front of them. Sora and Kairi's blue eyes locked onto each other, Sora amazed at her beauty. Kairi tilted her head to the right, Sora titled his head to the right, never leaving each other's gazes. She tilted her head to the left, so did Sora. They then brought their heads back up, both blushing. The only ones who seemed to notice this was Skyler and Priscilla. Skyler pointed his thumb at the two with confusion in his eyes. Priscilla shrugged, who was just as confused as him. "Who…. Is this?" Kairi asked.

"Oh greatest King of all the Earth!" Jafar said, holding his cobra staff by the top, using the bottom of his staff to lift Sora's chin up. The Leaf Ninja had backed away. " This low-born cobbler of no worth, attacked me in the square today." When he released his staff from his chin Sora tried to sneak away only for the Leaf Ninja to step forward to block him and for Jafar to pull him back with his staff. "Shall we take his head away?" he asked, taking his index finger and slashing it across his throat. Sora's eyes almost popped out of his sockets when he heard this.

"Huh? Oh yes yes… (Yawn) Jafar, if you really think so…." King Kai said, about to fall asleep again.

"But WHAT has he done?!?" Princess Kairi demanded.

Jafar made a puppy dog look and took one of the tacks from Sora's mouth into his hand. " A TACKED me." He said, motioning to the tack.

"Really?" Kairi asked, annoyed Jafar would want to behead someone for what sounds like and accident.

"Yes." He intoned. Sora took a chance at escaping by going under Jafar's arms, only to bumpinto him and cause him to fall on top of him. Skyler and Pete's cronies laughed until Buggy hushed them. Both Kairi and Priscilla giggled, waking up King Kai again. " You fool!" He screamed at Sora.

When no one was looking, Kairi took off one of her shoes and broke it in half. "It just so happens Uncle, that I need a cobbler." She said showing the broken shoe to him.

"what? Oh.. yes, yes of course my dear." King Kai said. Sora looked at Kairi with astonishment as she smiled warmly at him.

"Jafar was about to scream in protest but instead smiled. "Of course, oh rose of the land…" He said, doing his best to keep his false happiness up, yet his face began to turn red with anger. "You're slightest whim is my command…"

"Yes,.. go with the Princesses, Cobbler." King Kai said as he began to fall asleep. Kairi and her sister Priscilla walked off with Sora right behind them. As they left, Jafar's smile turned into an angry scowl.

"Say um Mr. Jafar, if it's okay I'm gonna go work on my studies…" Skyler whispered.

"Whatever!" Jafar growled as he and his four cronies left. When he was gone Skyler left in the direction of the Princesses and Sora. He didn't notice a girl with long black hair and violet eyes follow him from the shadows as he walked off…..

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Outside the palace gates, Auron was looking at the palace with determination. "I'm coming Sora." He said as he snuck toward it.

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Phantom64: okay chapter 2 is done I'll have the next one up soon!

Kairi: Read and Review!


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